The need for heels

When I was in my early twenties, I bought a pair of shoes from LK Bennet. This was obviously in the days when (a) I fit in to LK Bennet shoes (b) LK Bennet made fabulous & sexy and not just Kings Road-tastic loafers and (c) I didn’t mind being agonisingly uncomfortable with every step I took.

The shoes were red snakeskin pointed stilettos, with a 4 inch heel. They were amazing. They went with everything I owned, from twisted Levis (remember them?) to tiny (tiny tiny) skirts.

They were with me when I met my future husband when I was about 26. In fact, they were a deciding factor in whether he was actually going to be my future husband – although I think it’s fair to say that I didn’t really leave him much of a choice (think tiny tiny skirt, those heels and quite a lot of tequila).

One day, in fact, one birthday, around the same sort of time as meeting my FH, I went to pick them up from the cobblers (where I’d taken them for about the 7th time in a year to be re-heeled). The cobbler told me, with no more of a look on his face than if he were telling me that he’d run out of milk, that they were unfixable. He had no concept of the trauma he’d brought in to my life. On my birthday too.

I was, literally, devastated.

Since then, for reasons well documented in this blog, I haven’t owned a pair of killer heels.

Now, without wishing to be too obvious, the need for a pair of killer heels has diminished (the last pair doing their job very well) and these days I am rarely* staggering out of night clubs at 6 in the morning with a man in tow. But as I reach my late 30’s, I think the time has come for me to own, once again, a pair of killer heels. Just one pair of shoes which when on, I feel like I can tackle the world and bloody well win.

Until very recently, there was no point in wishing for a new pair of killer heels. I couldn’t have them. But now, it may be a reality. I’ve written before about Shoes of Prey and Upper Street, retailers where you design your own shoes via their website. Shoes of Prey have always done larger sizes, and I’ve spent quite a long time designing several pairs of shoes.

But now Upper Street (a home grown company, based in North London) have entered in to the mix and are launching their larger sizes collection on Monday. Nicole Smallwood, stylist to the stars and general fashion big fish with big feet to match, has designed a collection specifically for larger sizes.

A revelation! Those who want them in standard sizes have to pay £20 extra for production costs. I think this is the first time ever I’ve heard of larger footed ladies paying less for shoes! Sorry, shouldn’t gloat. Also in the last month, Upper Street have provided us with the ability to design a pair of shoes up to size 44 (which, happily, is my size).

Upper Street formed as a company through the needs of three, larger footed women, who, like me, were fed up with not being able to buy cool, sexy or merely sophisticated shoes. They clearly had a better business plan and a bit more cash (as well as know-how) than me, hence a business which is expanding rapidly and creating a stir as it does so.

The shoes aren’t cheap – but there has been so much in the press recently about how cheap shoes are so bad for your feet, that there can’t be many women out there who don’t want to spend £250 on a pair of life-long shoes (want and can are two very different things, so I’m definitely not assuming that everyone can spend that kind of cash – but I for one am going to save and scrimp on other things to do so)

But my dilemma is, when designing these shoes, do I try to recreate the red snakeskin stilettos, or would that be a mistake? Would recreating them be like trying to relive my 20’s, which although fun, were fraught with self doubt and anxiety? I’ve moved on in so many ways since then, that there’s a big part of me that thinks I should be wearing some very different heels to those ones.

The only man I’ll be wearing them to go out with is my 6″7 husband (which means I could even go higher on the heel if I wanted – the only bad thing about my last pair was that it meant I had to stay sitting down to speak to most men)

But – they were fabulous. And killer heels are killer heels. So, when I’ve saved some pennies and pounds and the time is right, I will be aiming to design shoes which transport me from mother of two, battling to retain a sense of style, to Hannah, owner of some pretty fabulous, nay, fucking awesome heels.

6am will still be too late though.

*never, although a month or so ago it was 5am and I was dragging my husband in tow as I left

Shoe porn - Christian Louboutin A/W 13. They don't make them in my size, so the picture is simply to drool over

Shoe porn – Christian Louboutin A/W 13. They don’t make them in my size, so the picture is simply to drool over

More shoe porn. Just, fabulous. Christian Louboutin A/W 13

More shoe porn. Just, fabulous. Christian Louboutin A/W 13

The end of the line

Hi all

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, that’s summer holidays for you – weeks on end trying to entertain the kids, failing, getting quite stressed about it and then – THE HOLIDAY! 2 blissful weeks of having someone around to help out with the childcare, an opportunity to catch up with some old, great friends, a chance to watch the kids go feral for a while, actually reading a book (or in my case, a trilogy) and rather a lot of du pain, du vin & du fromage.

And then – back to reality. The school run, the rain, the packed lunches. And the business. This has been the one which has been bothering me the most (although I have to confess my autumn wardrobe issues have also been quite a sticking point).

Shoes for Ruby has certainly given me lots to think about and has been a fantastic learning curve. It has given me real purpose and reminded me of who I used to be before kids – driven, committed, focused and tenacious. But – in the world of business, having a good idea and sticking to it is not enough. So, in a decision not taken lightly, I’ve decided to call it a day. Shoes for Ruby will no longer operate as a business.

I have genuinely loved being the Chief Executive (I’m obviously joking) of my own company, managing schedules (joking), juggling deadlines (joking), dealing with staff (joke) and outside suppliers (ha). And I’m often quite keen at throwing money at problems, which is something my husband is acutely aware of. (I have to mention here how endlessly supportive he’s been throughout the whole experience). But any money being thrown now is our own money and it’s just not feasible.

So – without further ado, this is it. The final curtain. I’d like to thank everyone who’s been so supportive over the last few months, friends, family and all those kind fellow bloggers & tweeters who have given me such positive feedback and retweets and likes.

I’m still going to blog, about much the same things and I do have a few pairs of shoes I need to shift from the bloody wardrobe, but I’m taking down the shop and throwing away the business cards. Might keep one or two though, they are rather pretty.

The funny thing is, the phrase ‘shoes for Ruby’ is one I find myself uttering rather a lot at the moment, trying to find suitable shoes for my nearly two year old, beautiful, tall & big footed daughter.

Hopefully, when she’s older, she’ll appreciate my efforts – and I’m confident that she won’t have the same problems I had as a girl, because it does seem that the fashion world has realised that not everyone is a standard size. There has been a shift in attitude.  

And that, dear reader, was always my aim.